what to wear to vanderbilt black gold day

While searching for scoring updates on Sun's Vanderbilt/Knuckles NCAA Tournament game (a heartbreaking loss? How new and original for Vanderbilt!), I accidentally got sucked in to NCAA.com's online store for Vanderbilt apparel. While the initial draw of a domicile gold Jermaine Beal jersey (only $59.99!) got me browsing, the original intrigue soon devolved into confusion as I scrolled through pages of what I tin can simply assume is some of the worst selling gear the NCAA offers.

Y'all tin't mistake the NCAA for their broad range of selections, but some of their ideas come from the vault of failed Christmas nightmares. Fifty-fifty the adept stuff is overpriced, but it'southward the awful things that are truly a waste of money. Below are the Vanderbilt items that no fan should ever order. You'll be able to find them at T.J. Maxx in a few months anyway...

Vanderbilt Commodores #17 Black Game Solar day Football Jersey

Price: $49.95

Oh, excellent. I was hoping I could still get a D.J. Moore jersey in a way that the team has never, ever worn. This particular bailiwick of jersey is perfect for the asshole who wants to make it admittedly clear that he went to Vanderbilt but still wants you to know that he's never actually watched a football game game. The "Vanderbilt" nameplate is an especially nice touch so people don't just presume that you lot robbed some eye school'southward athletic department.

Vanderbilt Commodores Mascot Plush Slippers

Price: $24.95

"Terrify children and adults alike past wearing the skinned carcass of our already creepy mascot on your feet! Despite beingness brutally beheaded, Mr. C smiles through every step."

Vanderbilt Commodores Ash Always In Flavor T-shirt

Price: $16.95

Oh, God no. The skillful thing about football season in Nashville is that it mercifully ends former effectually Vanderbilt'due south 30th turnover and fourth heartbreaking loss. Part of the excitement of the stretch run in November is that it's giving manner to basketball season, where the Commodores are actually, you know, adept. Neither the fragile psyche nor the swollen livers of Vandy fans could take a year-round football game season. Whoever wears this shirt side by side season is getting struck.

Vanderbilt Commodores Babe Blackness First 'Em Young T-shirt

Price: $12.95

That'southward right, become your children on rail for a lifetime of sports-related disappointments at a young age! If they know zero but failure, they'll appreciate a 4-8 football season! This child'southward t-shirt comes with flash cards labeled "April," "Graduation Rates," and "Recruiting Standards."

Nike Vanderbilt Commodores #10 Black Replica Football Bailiwick of jersey

Toll: $60.00

"No no no, this isn't a Larry Smith jersey, it's an Earl Bennett. Come on, guys. Think the good erstwhile days of Cutler to Bennett and 4-0 starts?"

Vanderbilt Commodores Ladies Blackness Script and Logo T-shirt

Price: $18.95

Come on, NCAA, yous tin't just one-half-ass an Ed Hardy/Affliction fashion shirt like this. Where are the skulls? Where are the angels' wings? Why isn't at that place a gargoyle crying in the background on top of a pile of armor?!? How are we supposed to tell which girls are douchebags if they don't accept hearts and script writing airbrushed onto their Vanderbilt shirts?

Vanderbilt Commodores Round Heart Tiffany Style Toggle Bracelet

Price: $12.95

There's a solid collection of Vandy jewelry, and while none of it seems awful, it'south description as "Tiffany style" is going the extra mile in trying to convince me that dangly earrings with a behemothic "V" on them would exist a nifty gift for my girlfriend's altogether after I've forgotten it...once again. I am certain that that is not true. Vanderbilt jewelry is probably the warning signal you lot need to realize that you no longer intendance about the human relationship you lot are in, regardless of whether you're buying it or wearing it. Confront it, you've pretty much given upward.

Vanderbilt Commodores Ladies Black-Aureate Striped Knee-High Socks

Price: $7.95

Granted, the socks are pretty ugly, but my problem here is that the mannequin seems to suggest that they be worn with some kind of stripper heel. Do black and gold stripes go with lucite heels and baby oil? They meliorate, because I like my strippers to seem educated.

Vanderbilt Commodores 69'' ten 48'' Plaid Jacquard Woven Blanket Throw

Price: $59.95

This ane, actually, is pretty sweetness as a throw coating. However, the fact that it doesn't come in a sweater-vest with matching bow-tie to be ironically worn to a tailgate just shows that the NCAA is calling the shots in this store, and non the Vanderbilt populace.

Black 24-Piece Team Color Deluxe Plastic Cutlery Set

Cost: $iii.50

Am I...am I missing something here? These are just black forks, right? Does this suggest that all black forks have an inherent Vanderbilt quality? Does that mean that all night cutlery enjoys drinking Bud Select, driving SUVs, wearing collared shirts, using words similar "bro" and existence vaguely racist?

So in that location's a quick await at the terrible offers yous tin find at Vanderbilt's NCAA shop. If y'all buy anything there, you'll earn my utter disdain for at least a season - unless you lot're turning that throw blanket into a sweater vest, at which point I'll at least give yous a chuckle and halfhearted point. I'll be the guy wearing i of those sugariness D.J. Moore jerseys, bro.

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Source: https://www.anchorofgold.com/2010/5/18/1474484/off-topic-the-terrible-items-at